Baby Fever

I have baby fever. I am not sure what is about this point in life where all my friends and peers are getting engaged or married, buying homes, and having babies. I feel like I am just stuck perpetually in school. I know it is simply just not my time yet, but wow do I want my own little family.

Working with kids

It does not help much that I am currently on my pediatric rotation spending lots of time with kids and babies. At first, I was working in the hospital with some pretty sick kids. It was great taking care of them, talking with them, and watching them get better. Kids are so resilient.

Sickle cell warriors are too. I really wish all of us and kids especially did not have to be so strong. Then I was on the outpatient side of things with not-so-sick kids. Wow were they cute! I got to hold newborn babies, learned how to swaddle them and comfort them, and play with the sweetest toddlers.

All of that to say, I got the fever – baby fever. But I do not feel like I have a ticking clock. Maybe because I am not sure if I want to have my own biological kids. Do not get me wrong, I would love to see what a little me and someone I love looks like and what their personality would be like. But maybe because I do not have a person to share that with right now, or more likely because I do not want to give my future child sickle cell.

Special considerations with sickle cell

I imagine myself adopting, I have wanted to since I was little and I begged my parents to give me a sister. I want to adopt for lots of reasons. I think the foster system can be a terrible place to grow up in and would love to raise children without risking giving them sickle cell. Family planning is a big thing for me. I have also considered surrogacy where maybe my child has all of my genes except that one.

And with that, I would not have to worry about all the extra pains and risks that come with sickle cell and pregnancy. See, sickle cell warriors have more to think about than most people looking to start a family. A lot of medications to prevent sickle cell crises or even help control the pain are not safe for growing fetuses. And all of the normal risks of pregnancy are magnified with sickle cell too, like fatigue for instance.

The children in my future

But all of that aside, I am simply not financially stable enough to support anyone else yet. When I am finally out of school and earning a decent steady income, I think I will adopt. I hope I will have someone to share a beautiful family with someday. I know being a single parent would be challenging, but I will not be waiting around for someone else to give me a family. I can see my future family and I already love them so much. I simply can not wait to meet them.