Questioning Yourself?
A lot of things go through my mind. Especially now that I’m stuck on crutches due to vascular necrosis. I ask myself "why?" I know the importance of self-sufficiency, hope, and self-love, but I must admit that I don't always feel good about myself.
Reaching a low point
I was just beginning to put my life together after having a baby, dialysis, and going bankrupt when vascular hip necrosis hit. Do you ever wonder how much longer you have to stay strong for this to be over? Do you sometimes question your self-worth? Are you get frustrated thinking about when you’ll get well and get on with your life? Do you have thoughts of suicide?
Acknowledging my limits
Yes, I am a warrior. Yes, I am strong and resilient. And, yes, I am like a cat with 9 lives. But, don’t forget that I’m also human. I can only take so much. There is nothing wrong with questioning yourself and overthinking your options. Anyone in our shoes would do the same.
Sickle cell warriors are humans too. Don’t feel sorry for it. Allow the pain to visit, let it teach you, learn from it, and move on. Vent, cry, get angry, question all you want, feel unwanted all you want, but don’t stay there for too long...
Figuring out the answers
Allow others to label your healing process all they want. Allow yourself to go through the emotions. Heal at your own pace and take care of your mental health unapologetically. Free yourself to be human, because you are.
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