A Close Encounter With COVID-19

As soon as you turn on the television you are confronted with the rising COVID-19 cases trend. This is not only in America but in many other countries. We are all concerned about how it will turn out. How can we prevent our family members from having to deal with this? We as parents? Our seniors? Our children? But above all... our children with sickle cell disease.

After almost 2 years it was unfortunately timed! The moment I feared, the moment I never wanted to experience. Covid in my house! My family has a total of 6 people, 2 adults, and 4 children. We have 1 teenage son and 3 tween girls. This weekend was like any other weekend, when our teenage son went to work, my husband and I had a discussion with him because he's not putting on a mask. My husband repeated why it is important to wear a mask, I explained why it is important that we cannot afford COVID-19 in our family given Miracle's health.

Explain it to a teenager

His attitude and reaction were quite confrontational, like a "real" teenager who knows better. You know... The typical conversations where he then indicates: "Why do I have to wear a mask? I am fully vaccinated!" and "I don't talk to anyone, so there's no need to put on a mask."

A whirl of emotions

No matter what answer we gave him, it seemed like we couldn't convince him of the importance of a mask in this horrific time. We were driving the car and I felt a mix of emotions. Disappointment, fear, anger, frustration, powerlessness... because as a (step)-mother I was very worried.

I felt disappointed because for several years I have been trying to explain to the children what sickle cell disease is, that we all need to make sure that Miracle (our youngest daughter with SCD) is protected, and most importantly prevent them from getting sick. And yes! I know you can't protect your child from everything, but sometimes it's the extra precautions that can reduce the chance. That's my goal when I educate the kids about SCD. So that they know what they can do as an older brother and sisters to protect their youngest sister. When you, as a parent, notice that your teenage son is not thinking about it, you wonder what else you need to do so that he understands and especially takes it into account.

What about fear!

Fear! I think we all live in fear because you're always extra careful so that your kids don't get COVID-19.

Considering school, hospital visits, travel, and travel, I try to avoid most activities where larger groups are present. This is because I don't want to take any chances and I don't want to regret it. I realize you can't live in fear all the time, but when you notice that others don't take COVID-19 as seriously as you do, you'd rather live on an island alone.

When the what if becomes a reality

And then came Tuesday night. My husband got a call that our son has COVID-19! It was impossible to put into words what was going on inside me. It was no longer a question of: "What if?" or "Be careful!" or "Mask on!". It was now in my face! Our "vulnerable" daughter has been in close contact with someone who tested positive. In my house!

If it is not safe in my own home, where is it safe? And it may sound a bit dramatic, but I couldn't describe the feeling I had at that moment.

Nerve-wracking days

My husband and I immediately disinfected everything, cleaned all rooms and beds, isolated everyone, and made sure we all went for testing. Those were the most nerve-wracking days of my life. Praying, hoping, wishing, wondering “what if”... I was so mad at myself!

That's the worst of it. The moment you realize that you should have listened to yourself, take a more active and perhaps even more aggressive approach to preventive matters, not leave it to "coincidence," and link consequences to irresponsible actions.

COVID-19 can get anyone! At school, at work, but the way you get it makes all the difference with me.

Continuing to take precautions

Luckily, we were all negative for the rest! The next day we went straight to the doctor with Miracle for a quick test and a PCR test. Because we wanted to make sure everything is ok, and after 5 days we tested again, and still negative.

After the last result, I have resolved never again to put myself in a position where I will feel powerless. My job as a mom is to get everyone on board so we all make sure COVID-19 stays as far away from our families as possible. Our job as parents is to ensure that our children understand what it is and the impact it has on the lungs, thereby making the danger for sickle cell patients clearer. I immediately started looking up all kinds of articles to share the information with my family in such an easy and understandable way.

We are a team

It is not a matter of "difficult" parents, it is a matter of a responsibility we all have towards each other. We are a team, and as a team, all team members must look in the same direction. Otherwise, there will be a weak link and you will lose the “match”. Our son had mild complaints about 1 day and was completely ok afterward. But we have strictly adhered to all precautions since and ensured that everyone has stayed safe.

You can do it!

My advice to all parents who can relate to this:

• Keep talking to your children about COVID-19, even if they are fully vaccinated, they should realize that they can still get COVID-19 (our son is fully vaccinated!) and infect others as well.
• Explain to the children why COVID-19 can be more dangerous for people with sickle cell disease. When you find that they don't understand, sometimes you must convey it in a "scary" and "raw" way so that they do. (How you talk to your children will of course depend on their age).
• As parents it is important that you are on the same page and look in the same direction when having these kinds of conversations.
• Don't get tired of talking and explaining, stay patient.
• Look for tools to make conversations easier.
• Put some of the responsibility on the children, so that they also realize that they are responsible.
• Make it an interactive session so that you as a family get input from everyone.

Every day we remind our children how to be careful, put on a mask, don't joke, social distancing, etc.